Alienation Current Event
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How to Escape the Loneliness Epidemic
It hurts to feel lonely. But loneliness is more than a psychological discomfort. Researchers believe that, like thirst and hunger, loneliness alerts us that we’re low on something essential and prompts us to relieve our discomfort by seeking what we lack—in this case, human connection. When we're feeling lonely we’re unable to satisfy this need long-term, and our health can suffer. And that’s a concern to experts who look at all the people at risk for chronic loneliness in this country and see a potential epidemic on the rise.
To help figure out how best to combat loneliness, researchers at the University of Chicago evaluated how well the four main loneliness-reducing interventions now in use are working. According to a new study published in Personality and Social Psychology Review, they found that all four approaches offer some relief for people who are feeling lonely. But the most powerful programs are the ones that help people rework negative thought patterns that can keep them lonely for life.
If you're feeling lonely, here are some ways to take control of the situation:
• Start small. If you’re lonely and fear rejection, start by connecting with people in little steps. “Have a conversation with the bus driver, or the bank teller, or the cashier at the grocery store,” says Hawkley. “Or just smile and greet them and let them smile and greet you back—nothing threatening. Now you’ve had a pleasant exchange that didn’t go badly. Build on that.”
• Volunteer. Get your mind off your problems and do something for someone else. “Seeing someone feel happy and nurtured by virtue of your presence is very fulfilling,” says Hawkley. And one of our core human needs is the need to feel needed.
• Get a pet. Any pet is better than none if you’re lonely, but you’ll get the biggest boost from a pet that can return your affections. By that measure, says Hawkley, “Dogs are great. Dogs are unfettered in their regard.” Plus, “You usually have to walk a dog, and when you’re walking you meet other people.” You also get exercise, which is good for mood and health.
• Challenge yourself. The next time you’re tempted to skip a social gathering, ask yourself: What’s the worst thing that could happen? If the worst thing you can imagine won’t kill you, go. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself—even if you have a bad time—than you will if you chicken out.
• Be realistic. If fantasizing that you’ll meet your new best friend gets you out the door, dream away! Just realize it’s unlikely to happen. “Don’t expect one effort to be the answer to your problems,” says Hawkley. “It’s going to take repeated efforts. It probably took you a long time to get in the state where your needs aren’t being met. It’s going to take you some time to get out.”
• Beware of busyness. Being overwhelmed with work, family, and social commitments can distract you from underlying feelings of loneliness, but it won’t cure them. Don't become a workaholic instead of trying to make new social connections.
• Nurture existing friendships. If losing touch with friends is contributing to your feelings of loneliness, it's time to reconnect. After all, friends help us live longer. “You have to make time for friends, especially, no matter how busy you are, because they’re there by choice, which is worth a lot when the chips are down,” says Hawkley. Research suggests that friends who touch base a few times a month are more likely to still be in contact a year later.
It hurts to feel lonely. But loneliness is more than a psychological discomfort. Researchers believe that, like thirst and hunger, loneliness alerts us that we’re low on something essential and prompts us to relieve our discomfort by seeking what we lack—in this case, human connection. When we're feeling lonely we’re unable to satisfy this need long-term, and our health can suffer. And that’s a concern to experts who look at all the people at risk for chronic loneliness in this country and see a potential epidemic on the rise.
To help figure out how best to combat loneliness, researchers at the University of Chicago evaluated how well the four main loneliness-reducing interventions now in use are working. According to a new study published in Personality and Social Psychology Review, they found that all four approaches offer some relief for people who are feeling lonely. But the most powerful programs are the ones that help people rework negative thought patterns that can keep them lonely for life.
If you're feeling lonely, here are some ways to take control of the situation:
• Start small. If you’re lonely and fear rejection, start by connecting with people in little steps. “Have a conversation with the bus driver, or the bank teller, or the cashier at the grocery store,” says Hawkley. “Or just smile and greet them and let them smile and greet you back—nothing threatening. Now you’ve had a pleasant exchange that didn’t go badly. Build on that.”
• Volunteer. Get your mind off your problems and do something for someone else. “Seeing someone feel happy and nurtured by virtue of your presence is very fulfilling,” says Hawkley. And one of our core human needs is the need to feel needed.
• Get a pet. Any pet is better than none if you’re lonely, but you’ll get the biggest boost from a pet that can return your affections. By that measure, says Hawkley, “Dogs are great. Dogs are unfettered in their regard.” Plus, “You usually have to walk a dog, and when you’re walking you meet other people.” You also get exercise, which is good for mood and health.
• Challenge yourself. The next time you’re tempted to skip a social gathering, ask yourself: What’s the worst thing that could happen? If the worst thing you can imagine won’t kill you, go. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself—even if you have a bad time—than you will if you chicken out.
• Be realistic. If fantasizing that you’ll meet your new best friend gets you out the door, dream away! Just realize it’s unlikely to happen. “Don’t expect one effort to be the answer to your problems,” says Hawkley. “It’s going to take repeated efforts. It probably took you a long time to get in the state where your needs aren’t being met. It’s going to take you some time to get out.”
• Beware of busyness. Being overwhelmed with work, family, and social commitments can distract you from underlying feelings of loneliness, but it won’t cure them. Don't become a workaholic instead of trying to make new social connections.
• Nurture existing friendships. If losing touch with friends is contributing to your feelings of loneliness, it's time to reconnect. After all, friends help us live longer. “You have to make time for friends, especially, no matter how busy you are, because they’re there by choice, which is worth a lot when the chips are down,” says Hawkley. Research suggests that friends who touch base a few times a month are more likely to still be in contact a year later.
(Article & Photo) Wallace, Gini Kopecky. “How to Escape the Loneliness Epidemic.” Rodale. 2010. Web. 3 March 2013. <rodale.com/feeling-lonely?page=0,0>
Alienating oneself is also know as being isolated or lonely. This article talks about how to escape loneliness because loneliness can cause long-term health issues and also leads to suffering.
-Kyle West (Article & Description)
-Kyle West (Article & Description)